Monday, April 20, 2009

The Privacy Invaders

Wikipedia defines privacy as:

Privacy is the ability of an individual or group to seclude themselves or information about themselves and thereby reveal themselves selectively. The boundaries and content of what is considered private differ among cultures and individuals, but share basic common themes. Privacy is sometimes related to anonymity, the wish to remain unnoticed or unidentified in the public realm. When something is private to a person, it usually means there is something within them that is considered inherently special or personally sensitive. The degree to which private information is exposed therefore depends on how the public will receive this information, which differs between places and over time. Privacy can be seen as an aspect of security — one in which trade-offs between the interests of one group and another can become particularly clear.

The concept of privacy is most often associated with Western culture, English and North American in particular. According to some researchers, the concept of privacy sets Anglo-American culture apart even from other Western European cultures such as French or Italian.[1] The concept is not universal and remained virtually unknown in some cultures until recent times. A word "privacy" is usually regarded as untranslatable[2] by linguists. Many languages lack a specific word for "privacy". Such languages either use a complex description to translate the term (such as Russian "Неприкосновенность частной жизни") or borrow English "privacy" (as Indonesian "Privasi" or Italian "la privacy")[2].

Blog is a place where people share stories. It could be their own stories, this is when blog is our own online journal. Or, it could be other's people stories. We tell other people stories in our blog. Some do it by hiding the subject's real identities, creating imaginary or symbolic names, some just totally reveal their identities, probably accompany by all those swearing and nasty words. This is when our blog is our own personal trash can. You can throw anything in it, and you can even throw it to your most hated person.

We tell other people's stories for different reasons. The noblest one is probably to share the lesson learnt from their experiences. The shallowest one of course, when you do it for your own personal revenge plan. While there others who make their real life (including people surround them) into one big smashing hits novel :), which then, someone is making a movie out of it. Raditya the "kambing jantan" and andrea hirata with his tetralogy are only the samples. Despite the funny and touchy parts of their stories, have you ever wonder about Raditya's girlfriend (they broke up now) or A Ling's --andrea's first love crush-- or Andrea's girlfriend (forgot the name of the girl)? I mean, do you really want your ex-boyfriend telling stories about you two together, both in a novel and movie (and let's also count the infotainment too)?

We call it "privacy" because for some reasons, we would like keep it from the public realm. I always have questions and dilemmas whether I should bring other's people stories or not in this blog, in order to respect their privacy. Even, if they did some shittiest thing upon me. I did bring up those two bitches (should have brought up the third and the bitchiest :P) and then, erased them for good. At first, I didn't want to bring them up, until Tita asked me too, since they are the most important thing ever happened, hehe. But then again, I decided to erase them.

And I did make some stories, true stories, which involve other people's, but I tagged them. I think it is the question of ethical that you should let them know that you're writing about them.

Have I ever been brought up to other people's blog? Yes, couple times. A friend told me that she wrote my experience but of course, she made fake names to hide my identity. There is one article which I didn't know I was part of it. And to be honest, I found the subject to be "sensitive". Something that I don't even want to talk about.

I wanted to tell that person to delete it, but I guess that person has the rights to tell it. And that person seems a kind of person that tells other people's stories in blogs anyway. For whatever reasons, just assumes that person uploaded it for a good reason :) Thank God, that person spared my name. It's funny, though.. to see other people's perspectives about yourself. Probably, I'd write about that subject. It is now a public material anyway.

Privacy invaders? Well, I am a privacy invaders. People who can read beyond what a normal eyes see, are automatically privacy invaders. But that is totally different issues hehe..


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Me, Tita & Porky



Namanya Porky, si boneka babi berwarna pink. Dibeli tahun 2005, sebelum ke Belanda, dari Ole. Seketika dijadikan obyek foto dengan berbagai macam pose, tentu saja. Sayangnya, hanya dua foto ini yang tersisa, thanks to dek Iphe. Foto-foto dengan porky harus lenyap bersamaan dengan hp lama yang tiba-tiba mati total.

Keberadaan porky sekarang? Tadinya ada di rumah. Tapi karena si gemblung suka sekali dengan boneka ini hingga dijadikan teman tidur tiap malam dan si porky jadi "bau laki-laki gemblung", maka diselamatkanlah oleh mbak helly. Bersama-sama dengan boneka teddy bear yang berwarna coklat, beli di scheveningen sebagai bentuk charity untuk anak-anak yang terkena penyakit kanker. Cuma sayangnya, status mereka berdua sekarang MIA (missing in action). Entah disembunyikan dimana keduanya oleh mbak Helly. 

Porky adalah koleksi pertama boneka atau pajangan berbentuk babi, mulai dari boneka babi dari kayu (dari Endah, oleh-oleh dari Prague), boneka babi berdaun irlandia (dari Avi, oleh-oleh juga), pasukan babi-babi mungil dari kaca bening (dari Kay, oleh-oleh dari Cina), dan celengan babi dengan corak keramik khas Belanda (yang ini beli sendiri di Volendam, tapi entah dimana sekarang).


 

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

On Sorry

It’s sad, so sad
It’s a sad, sad situation
And it’s getting more and more absurd
It’s sad, so sad
Why can’t we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
(Elton John).

Buat sebagian orang, kata maaf menjadi satu kata yg sulit untuk diucapkan. Entah teman, pacar, orang tua yang enggan meminta maaf pada anaknya, dan bahkan Pemerintah. Ya, adalah sangat tidak masuk akal ketika Parlemen Belanda memutuskan untuk menolak permohonan seorang wakil negara Indonesia untuk sebuah permohonan maaf karena telah menjajah rakyat Indonesia selama beratus-ratus tahun. Atau dalam film Civil Action-nya John Travolta, yang bercerita tentang sebuah perusahaan yang membuang limbahnya sembarangan dan melukai pemuda-pemudi setempat, namun menolak untuk sekedar mengucap kata maaf dan memilih untuk memberikan ‘uang damai’ sebesar 8 juta dollar, atau sekitar 375ribu dollar (setelah dipotong biaya pengacara, biaya perkara dll) per orang untuk anak-anak mereka yang meninggal jadi korban. I mean, how do they sleep? How do they forgive themselves? Or maybe they don’t feel guilty at all.

In personal sphere, if you still have consciouness, to ask forgiveness is to forgive yourself. Untuk mengucap kata ‘maaf’ adalah bagian dari proses untuk memaafkan diri sendiri, yang telah melukai orang lain.

Tapi, ternyata persoalan tidak semudah itu. Pertanyaannya kemudian adalah, sampai sejauhmanakah kata maaf dianggap sudah cukup? Cukupkah kata maaf ketika perbuatan tersebut sudah mengakibatkan kerugian material maupun immaterial bagi orang lain? For some people, in some cases, maybe ’sorry’ would not be enough… to compesate. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have any legal action to deal with it, right? :-)

Terlebih ketika bagi sebagian orang, kata maaf menjadi satu kata yg mudah untuk diucapkan. Just say "Sorry" and the problem is considered solved. The person who said sorry is considered has redemption for any actions he/she may caused. And then, case closed. But, is it? Accepting other person's apology is one thing, restoring things to normal before it was impaired by his/her doing is a totally different thing. You probably would look at him/her in totally different perspective. Like a song from the Corrs, you are forgiven, but not forgotten. People may say it is already forgotten, but perhaps there is levels or degrees of forgetting something or someone that they don't aware of . Sometimes, you unconsiously make a note and keep it somewhere within you.

Another option is, to talk over, including between you and yourself. So, ’sorry’ is something to negotiate. Something that we  have to compromise. Something to be agreed and deal with.  But in personal sphere, it doesn’t always work that easy. Kadang-kadang, kita terpaksa harus ‘ikhlas’ menerima kata maaf, bahkan ketika perbuatan yang dihasilkan sudah menimbulkan kerugian… immaterial maupun material. And you wish that something would suddenly hit your head and take your memories away. Atau kita berharap, kita dikaruniai sifat pelupa.  You simply just want to forget it, by not necessarily talking about it.

Dan maaf, menjadi sebuah kata yg tidak saja sulit tapi juga penuh dilema :-) 

Yeah, sorry…


Saturday, April 11, 2009

On Leader and Leadership


The Lost Leader 
By Robert Browning

Just for a handful of silver he left us, 
      Just for a riband to stick in his coat—
Found the one gift of which fortune bereft us, 
      Lost all the others she lets us devote;
They, with the gold to give, doled him out silver, 
      So much was theirs who so little allowed:
How all our copper had gone for his service! 
      Rags—were they purple, his heart had been proud!
We that had loved him so, followed him, honoured him, 
      Lived in his mild and magnificent eye,
Learned his great language, caught his clear accents, 
      Made him our pattern to live and to die!
Shakespeare was of us, Milton was for us, 
      Burns, Shelley, were with us,—they watch from their graves!
He alone breaks from the van and the freemen, 
      —He alone sinks to the rear and the slaves!

We shall march prospering,—not thro' his presence; 
      Songs may inspirit us,—not from his lyre;
Deeds will be done,—while he boasts his quiescence, 
      Still bidding crouch whom the rest bade aspire:
Blot out his name, then, record one lost soul more, 
      One task more declined, one more footpath untrod,
One more devils'-triumph and sorrow for angels, 
      One wrong more to man, one more insult to God!
Life's night begins: let him never come back to us! 

      There would be doubt, hesitation and pain,
Forced praise on our part—the glimmer of twilight, 
      Never glad confident morning again!
Best fight on well, for we taught him—strike gallantly, 
      Menace our heart ere we master his own;
Then let him receive the new knowledge and wait us, 
      Pardoned in heaven, the first by the throne!



Am I a Leader? 
By Mike Wash

Do you care about others 
Are you willing to give them time 
Can you get angry about the failure 
And waste caused by crime? 

Do you have a passion to make a difference 
Can you help others see another option 
Are you prepared to make a stance 
And communicate clearly your position 
Standing boldly stating what’s possible 
And excite those around you, 
Who in turn you inspire 
To work beyond the ordinary 
With passion, zeal and fire. 

Can people read you and your values 
Know what you stand for 
See your bold and good intent 
So they can rely on your candour. 

Do you seek out opportunities to learn 
From your own and indeed others mistakes 
Thriving on new knowledge and yearn 
For the opportunity to release the brakes 
On people’s potential so they can grow 
From the seeds you sow. 

Can you cry about other’s pain 
Shout about injustice 
Guard against false fame 
And listen carefully in case you miss 
The wisdom of others. 

Do you put into practice 
Those values you hold dearly 
Those principles you preach 
Those behaviours you desire 
And those standards you hope to reach. 

Can you reflect on your day 
And admit to learn 
That maybe another way 
May lead you to earn 
The respect of others who say 
We have ideas too 
If you let us follow through 
And do 
For you 
To 
Achieve extraordinary results 
That reflect the spirit and pride 
You often hide 
Until the applause and roar 
Of success are so evident 
You may as well sit back and enjoy the ride. 

Leaders are big, leaders are small 
Leaders don’t always walk tall 
Quite often they talk with their actions 
Quite often they speak with knowledge 
And confidence that within a fraction 
They can and will take themselves to the edge 
Of the unknown to achieve that bit extra 
So others learn and benefit 
From the legacy of a unique contribution 
That makes a difference. 

If deep down, these qualities highlighted here 
Stir with recognition and instil 
That sense of purpose to be true 
To an ideal and way of being 
Then yes, 
Perhaps this is you. 


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Dari Golput-ers untuk Caleg Perempuan


Ada yang berbeda dengan Pemilu 2009. Pertama, saya akhirnya memutuskan untuk memilih! Kedua, saya tidak lagi memilih partai, tapi individu. Ketiga, dan ini yang mungkin paling penting, semua ini adalah gara-gara: perempuan! :-)

Terakhir saya memilih adalah tahun 1999. Pemilu 2004 yang lalu, saya golput. Tadinya, pemilu kali ini pun saya berencana untuk golput, berdasarkan alasan-alasan yang sebelumnya sudah saya ungkapkan di blog ini. Tapi rupanya, ada yg membangunkan salah satu kawanan singa tidur bernama golput ini: caleg perempuan. Hal ini didorong juga dengan file daftar caleg perempuan yang perlu didukung dari mbak Dewi Tjakrawinata APAB (Aliansi Pelangi Antar Bangsa). Daftar caleg perempuan yang selama ini memang terbukti komitmennya untuk memperjuangkan keadilan jender.

Saya memilih mereka, meskipun saya tidak suka dengan partai yang direpresentasikannya. Pilihan saya jatuh pada caleg perempuan yang berasal dari salah satu partai yang kental dengan nuansa Islam (tapi bukan PKS, hehe), namun saya kenal dan tau baik sepak terjangnya selama ini dalam advokasi RUU Pelayanan Publik. Dia aleg yang bersuara lantang dan mampu bersikap tegas dalam rapat-rapat. Dia sangat akomodatif dan selalu menyediakan waktu untuk memahami substansi dari advokasi kita. Dia juga sangat terbuka dengan kritik, ketika pers release yang dikeluarkan oleh Jaringan Masyarakat Peduli Pelayanan Publik (MP3) membuat Pak Sayuti, konon katanya, kecewa. Dia mampu menerima kritik kami terhadap DPR sebagai lembaga dan secara legowo mengakui kelemahan-kelemahan institusi itu.
Buat saya, ketika kita bicara soal partai yang tidak memiliki platform, yang masih tidak profesional, dan segala masalah lainnya, kita bicara soal sistem. Dan memperbaiki sistem itu, tidak semudah membalikan telapak tangan. Ikut pemilu dan mencontreng nama salah satu caleg perempuan pun, tidak serta merta membuat sistem itu menjadi demokratis. Tapi yang pasti, kita butuh individu-individu yang terbuka dan memiliki komitmen yang kuat untuk memperbaiki sistem. Kita membutuhkan individu-individu yang bisa memberikan "sentuhan perempuan" dalam sistem. Membawa semangat keadilan jender di parlemen.
Bicara caleg perempuan tentu tidak bicara soal representasi, jumlah dan muka perempuan di parlemen. Bicara caleg perempuan juga bicara bagaimana caleg perempuan bisa memberikan kontribusi bagi perubahan di parlemen pada tidak saja pada tataran manajemen, namun juga pada tataran aras. Perubahan yang mengajak baik perempuan maupun laki-laki untuk peduli pada isu keadilan jender.

Dan bila ada yang mengatakan, pemilu akan selalu bentuk kompromi untuk memilih yang lebih tidak buruk dari buruk-buruk, maka bentuk kompromi itu buat saya adalah, saya memilih individunya meskipun saya tidak terlalu "sreg " dengan partainya. Tentu saja, tiap kompromi memiliki batas toleransi. Demikian pula dengan pertimbangan partai yang direpresentasikannya. Saya memiliki batas toleransi saya sendiri.

Jadi pemilu kali ini, saya sebagai anggota kawanan golput, bangun hanya untuk menyontreng, demi parlemen dan pelaksanaan fungsi representasi yang berkeadilan jender.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Home Sweet Home


What is home? A place where we experience independence, safety, privacy, and where we can dispense hospitality. The family is the true unit. Kerja keras terbayar sudah! This one is from us, for you, mommy!

Home Sweet Home

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home;
A charm from the sky seems to hallow us there,
Which, seek through the world, is ne'er met with elsewhere.
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

An exile from home, splendor dazzles in vain;
Oh, give me my lowly thatched cottage again!
The birds singing gayly, that come at my call --
Give me them -- and the peace of mind, dearer than all!
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

I gaze on the moon as I tread the drear wild,
And feel that my mother now thinks of her child,
As she looks on that moon from our own cottage door
Thro' the woodbine, whose fragrance shall cheer me no more.
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

How sweet 'tis to sit 'neath a fond father's smile,
And the caress of a mother to soothe and beguile!
Let others delight mid new pleasures to roam,
But give me, oh, give me, the pleasures of home.
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

To thee I'll return, overburdened with care;
The heart's dearest solace will smile on me there;
No more from that cottage again will I roam;
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.
Home, home, sweet, sweet, home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

John Howard Payne